Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Spring's bustin' out, on a green sunny rampage, after the snowiest winter I've ever experienced in Washington. The dandelions have taken over. The sky is clear. The farmer's market is open, and I'm listening to the siren call of tiny plant starts (Buy me! Put me in your earth! I will grow for you, feed your soul and your belly!) And on Sunday I had a mini-crisis.

Don't worry. Everything is now resolved. It was a paperwork crisis—and everything is now filled out, submitted, and received—but it could have been bad, and the shock seemed to shatter something inside of me. After I panicked and cried, I called dear Sabrina. She talked me down, put things in perspective, and was lovely. She helped me find my strength again. Then I moved back into action mode—and haven't stopped since.

I've felt frozen inside for a while. Frozen by fear of failure, by feeling overwhelmed, by... all sorts of self-doubts. And all that emotional ice was freezing my actions too.

Of course, I wasn't completely inactive or even particularly sad, but I didn't feel like I was moving forward.

Now it's warming up outside, and the ice in me is melting, and it's spring, and I want to make change and take control—to act. I'm bustin' out too. Be on the lookout.

1 comment:

New Knitter Pondering Knitting Steering Wheel Cover said...

Be on the Lookout World! Amanda is blossoming and ready to take charge!
Thank you for having the courage to be so honest about how you've been doing over the past couple of months.

Boo-hoo to that snow!

You are an Olympia/Portland Jewish Curly-head 4-eyes Rose waiting to blossom in the Spring sun!

The world deserves to experience us; all we have to do is have the strength to shine our light and share our gifts to the world.

Way to go Amanda!